Breaking Down the Walls

I'm definitely aware of the difference between intellectually understanding an emotional issue and actually integrating that understanding beyond the mind into the mind-body interface.

The real work comes (for me) from doing enough internal work to crack open the hard shell around my heart to actually allow these insights to penetrate on an emotional level. There is a very distinct feeling to this, one that's not altogether pleasant (and would be better described as difficult and unnerving) but one that certainly draws on experience beyond the conceptual or theoretical.

It begins with a physical sensation of breaking apart or breaking down some hard exterior shell which surrounds my heart. This shell, or 'wall' seems to be some sort of defense mechanism I have in place that prevents me from easily acknowledging these problems (which I would guess is where the term 'breaking down the walls' comes from).

After the wall's broken down, I tend to feel very exposed and vulnerable, even when I'm just in my own company. This period is generally the only time that these insights are able to penetrate deeply into my heart/emotional body/whatever you want to call it. Once they penetrate, there's an initial feeling of sharpness - almost some sort of pain as the new belief structure moves into the heart and prepares to take the place of the other one. This is usually followed by a sensation of loss as the old belief is evicted but before the new one settles in.

Finally there's a great sensation of warmth that generally sparks in the heart center. This spreads further through the body and eventually makes its way to the brain where I can become cognizant of the emotional changes that have been made.

I've only had issues serious enough to require me to perform this type of treatment about 3 or 4 times, but each time the treatment has been quite comprehensive. Meaning that the issues - which are generally long-standing and have affected me for a decade or more - are completely understood, beliefs recognized and replaced, attitudes adjusted, and behaviors modified.

This process usually takes between 3 days to 2 weeks and is certainly deep and transformational, though it may not be understood to be so in the same manner in which you are used to.