Dreams of a Black Man #1

Stupid Car Thieves

The vehicle was hazy, serene, and utterly silent save for the sizzle of the joint`s ember and the rustling of our jackets as we passed the cannon back and forth. If one were to look hard enough, deep within the depths of the smoked out car, the intoxicating fog had encapsulated two slack-jawed, red-eyed males. One flaunted shaggy brown hair and a goofy grin; the other sported a red hat was worn at an angle that was both impossible and awkward. From outside, the sun`s rays were diluted by the ambient, aromatic atmosphere we`d created for ourselves in the sedan.

The smoke was so thick that we weren`t aware of the people standing outside until the door was swung open. The smoke was quickly whisked into the atmosphere, as was the serenity, sanity, and relaxation we`d surrounded ourselves with. The entire mood was sucked out of the car as if the outdoors were a huge vacuum. One of the guys spoke.

“We're stealing your car.”

“Oh,” I answered.

“Yeah. It's okay, though” Two guys and a girl let themselves into the back seat and sat down.

The guy who'd announced their intentions spoke up with a grin. “My name's Jeff,” We shook hands.

“Nigel, nice to meet you. You want to get high?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Sure thing,” I answered, passing him the joint. He grinned and brought the doobie to his lips while I was introduced to the other two.

“So, yeah. We don't really have any weapons,” Jeff said as he passed the doobie around the back seat where they'd taken up residence. “So we figured we're just going to call BCAA and tow the car away from you.”

“Right, sounds good,” I answered, taking the doobie back. The air in the car had thickened again; the humidity of our new passenger's breath mixed with the greensmoke to create a dense, Amsterdam-esque environment.

“Let me just grab my laptop out of the trunk, and any other valuables.”

“Yeah, sure thing man.”

“Really?” I was incredulous. “You'll let me do that?”


“Sure, we don't care.”


“Shit, man! If I was stealing a car I'd go the whole nine yards and take everything in it!”

Jeff shrugged as I popped the trunk. I went and stuffed my laptop back into my pack and returned to the driver's seat.

“Hey, wait,” Jeff mused. “This is a robbery! You guys aren't supposed to feel comfortable. We're supposed to kick you out, or something. Or you can just get out. Either way, you're not supposed to feel comfortable!” He paused and thought for a moment. “We'll just get out, I suppose.”

Jeff and his two accomplices let themselves back out of the car and stood around awkwardly outside.

Peter and me looked at each other with glazed eyes and kept passing the joint until the tow truck showed up.

“Let's get the car towed to Mill Bay!”

I nodded and rolled down the window. “Hey, guys. You should probably get the car towed to my friend Ky's house. That's a great place to take a stolen car.”

“Yeah?” Jeff asked, slowly fading in to visibility as the smoke that separated our faces began to dissipate. “Sounds good, You guys go tell the truck driver how to get there.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

Once the car was rigged up on the tow truck, me and Peter hopped into the cab to give the driver directions. We waved goodbye to the thieves and towed “their” new car to my friend's house, and they waved back stupidly as their potential harvest was towed to somewhere they didn't even know existed.